Wednesday, August 27, 2008

How Marian spends her life... Part 1

Criso and I are so compatible...We've got a lot of things in common. But, definitely not all. Despite the fact that we're together for as long as we can remember, there are just some things that we don't agree on. There are still things we do differently.

For one, whenever Criso and I went out to do some shopping in the ultimate shopping haven "Divisoria", she doesn't want me to bargain for more. I, in contrast, would beg for discounts since most sellers are speaking in our native tongue (Bisaya man day!) If this was a game, we were in the lead. It was our advantage. But Criso would interrupt me most of the time telling me the price was already surprisingly cheap. (Plus she's also a bit ashamed why I should ask for more discounts when it's supposed to be a business.) But in my thinking, these people won't give you such a low price if they're not earning anything. So despite her disapproval, I still worked my charm with the vendors. At the end of the day, there's still extra funds left and she will just sheepishly smile at me.(told you so, eb.) We splurge the remaining sum feeding our starving stomachs with our fave comfort food, sharksfin siomai. (you can buy it in this small food stall called yummy potdog.)

Criso is also the kind of person who won't buy anything unless what she has is completely worn out. Trust me on this, we usually go into a major debate just because she refuses to buy a new pair of shoes, or an underwear, or even as basic as a shirt. As stubborn as she is, she wins everytime. So what I do (just so she won't get mad), is surprise her with gifts like these. Instead of her whining at me, she would have no choice but to thank me. So yes, I'm her personal shopper and I'm loving that job more than anything.

If we have disagreements, Criso would prefer to be alone. She just wants to be ignored until she finally comes out of her senses. I learned this the hard way. I get pushed away several times whenever she's not ready to talk. So, knowing how she is when we're in a fight, I just wait...and wait..and wait..But the waiting doesn't take that long or else I'd tell her that she's overreacting for just a small misunderstanding. That cheers her up and we just break into laughter. Problem solved.(tsk.tsk.tsk) I may easily get jealous or mad and she may think I'm putting a big deal on things but what I really wanted to make my worrying stop is just a simple, comforting hug. That's it. Coupled with some serious talk over a comfort food(tamarind,santol,toblerone,ice cream etc.), we still manage to patch things up.

On her weekly off, it's very difficult to convince Criso to get up or even to take a bath. She just wants to lie down on the bed watching DVD series. And yes, she can do this for 24 hours straight. Well, some hours are devoted to us just cuddling and talking non-stop about anything. That's how lazy she can be sometimes. And as you can see, I tolerate her so that makes her extra spoiled. hahaha. (My excuse is that she deserves a break for working her a*s off on weekdays or is it pure dota playing?)

The list can go on and on, you know. My point is maybe this is one of the reasons why we are still a couple until now. It could be because we accept each other's differences. We get to compromise. We didn't force each other to change. Instead, we welcome change. I love Criso for being just herself. I love it when she's being honest on things. I love her more now that she's finding time to love herself. So there. We must be really soulmates after all.

marian's first blog release.. ten tededen

Zombies..They enchant Criso so much. Blame it on her cousins who allowed her to watch "Night of the Living Dead" when she was around 6. I can just picture how scared she was, watching those slow-moving, flesh-eating corpses... Poor eb2x. That movie surely opened her imagination to the mystical zombie world. (haha)

Criso never missed a movie which features zombie attacks. It's like those types of movies were her ultimate stress busters... When we watched, "28 Days Later", both of us were so psyched about the movie we couldn't stop talking about it for a week or so. She's so into zombies that sometimes she even dreamt of them. Funny thing is when she wakes up after the so-called nightmare, she then religiously plans as to what weapon to get, which safest place to stay and what food to bring. I readily agree and join her with the idea. It was actually fun listing the supplies to bring. (mine of course include all the brands of chocolates i can think of.. tsk.tsk.) Heck criso even tried to describe to me, in full details, the type of building we should stay in just in case a plague may happen. We just talk about these schemes in the wee hours of the night.

I oftentimes make use of her 'zombie illusion' to frighten her. I usually do it whenever she goes to the bathroom. I walk as slowly as possible towards her. The bathroom door is slightly open and she's facing towards the mirror...Hmm, perfect time to execute my plan. I then do my zombie walk with a pale facial expression, hair down and whenever i do this, it never failed to freak her out. FABULOUS...Her sudden expression changing from normal to super startled is priceless. Call me naughty if you want but moments like this surely made my day. love you eb..

One of the best movies Criso loves is "I am Legend". We just watched the dvd copy of the movie and the the whole time, we're just in each other's arms,yelping when terrifying, mind-blowing scenes are shown (especially when will smith's dog was attacked..huhuhu.) She has strongly influenced me to watch these kinds of movies even if I'm easily horrified. At least it's also my excuse to get as many hugs from her as i can. I guess what thrills her most with zombies would be how oblivious they are to pain and the fact that they continue to attack even after losing limbs. On top of that, they are relentlessly driven to kill and eat. So, that would totally be spooky if u come to think of it.

I don't think Criso will ever get tired of thinking about these man-eating creatures. And for me, it won't be a problem. It will be even an advantage for us if it will ever happen. Criso and I will be more than prepared and who knows, she may even save the world because of this obsession. Right eb?

Sunday, August 24, 2008


Lawrence. Oh how I miss Lawrence.

Yeah. He's a dude.

And no. I'm still super gay. He's super super gay as well.

But I miss him. He's my hairstylist...... Do you know how hard it is to find a stylist you can trust? Someone you feel that you have this telepathic connection to? Someone you know you're gonna love for the rest of your life? I'd marry him if I was even slightly attracted to him. Or him to me for that matter. Damn it. If there is one thing I hate most about moving to another place, it would be this.

I like messy hair.. It looks funky. But it's mostly because I'm too lazy to style it. I usually go to work without using a comb. But he understands me. With just a wink, he gets me. Dude, I'm visiting Cebu in a couple of months. You better still be where I left you.

Cabbie Patties..

I don't like taxi drivers. I don't necessarily hate them or anything. And I won't ask God to smite them. I just don't like them.

First. Most of their fare meters are waaaayyy too fast. I always pay extra. Plus, if you don't pay the exact amount, don't expect to get any change back. Tip : Don't look desperate. "Chillax". They see an invisible neon marker that says "just add 50 pesos". Well. To be fair.. There are a chosen few that are honest though. Whenever I meet a decent one, I seriously feel like I've won the lottery.

Second. When it rains, they act like the most prized commodities. They make you beg them to take you elsewhere. Shitholes.

Third. Schizophrenia. I rode a taxi a few days ago. I was minding my own business. Looking for pink cars. But then he said that he "feels" close to me.. He was right. We were close. I was sitting in the passenger seat. He said that I was destined to ride his taxi. Of course. There were no other taxis around and he was parked there for almost an hour already. But the best part was when he held my hand with slight tears in his eyes and said that I was his long lost daughter. Ok. Given that I've never even met my father, I'm trusting my mom actually knows his name. And I'm betting his name wasn't Manny. And, dude, I don't have a birthmark on my nipples. Nipples are supposed to look that way.

To my father for 15 minutes.. Nice knowing you. I do hope you find your daughter.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Girls and their shoes..

When Marian shops for shoes, she usually just leaves me in a corner somewhere. Mumbling. Computing the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Thinking about killing zombies. Looking for exits. What food I'm taking. Where I can find weapons. Grenades would be awesome. Where I should head to. You know. Stuff. I'm easily entertained.

And then I looked up. Everything I was thinking about was completely forgotten. Carefully thought-about strategies. Logical next steps. Plan Bs. It was replaced by one thought.. and one thought only --------- What the hell?
Who in their right minds would wear such a thing? Who thought about this? And how is this supposed to be worn?

Girls and their silly silly silly foot contraptions.

Looking around, I changed my mind about shoe shopping being boring.

This one would be nice if you're dressing up to be Catwoman. (mmm.. Catwoman..)
Or if you're preparing for some snake attacks.
Shoes come from outer space.
Anyway, she had the hugest smile when she came back to my little corner of newfound fascination. And I knew. Yeaaaahhhh!! We can finally watch a movie!
She often asks me what I think. I have finally figured out how to answer such alien questions. I think it's pretty simple. If you see her with that goofy-i-have-found-my-true-love smile, it's a definite 'Yes'.
Since she got a 25% discount on this one, she chose this one to complete her shoe budget.
I thought we were done with 3 hours of shuffling and looking at about approximately 90 different shoe styles. Apparently, when girls find their shoes, they spend another hour looking around - doing their last round of inspection - just to make sure there's nothing she forgot to take a closer look at.

I think my mom forgot to educate me on this one. I rarely notice these stuff since I just go into auto pilot.

It's ok. At least, I have 2 shoes to blackmail her when I do something stupid.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

How I'm spending my life.. Part 6

Update :
Ok. Maybe I'm not that stubborn afterall..

I'm stubborn. I'm probably one of the top 10 most stubborn people in the world. My rules are set in stone. It never changes unless you have another chisel to rewrite the rules.

I can't help it. It's the way I'm built.

If I say I won't play another round of dota, you're gonna have to drag me to the internet cafe and threaten to kill me and my whole clan just to make me play.
If you challenge me to ignore you, I'll probably ignore you until we're 70 years old. If you're choking or if you're foaming at the mouth, I'd bring you to the hospital but I'd still ignore you. I may not like ignoring you and maybe it's causing some sort of bowel movement malfunction but I'd still ignore you.
If I ask you not to buy me underwear, never buy me underwear. There's a better chance of hell freezing over than you buying me underwear.

But I think I'm learning to be a little less stubborn every year.. About .001% less stubborn.

So.. Yeah.. (-_-)

Monday, August 11, 2008

How I'm spending my life.. Part 5

It's official.

I'm boring.

And what made me come to this conclusion? I met people with actual battle scars. So there we were.. Chatting the hours away.. Comparing battle scars.. Only, I realized I actually had none.

- I've never been drunk. They drank yesterday and they were still drunk 5 days later. On a Saturday morning, my officemate drinks some sort of vodka + rum + something else.. He hibernates and wakes up on a Monday evening. He has no liver.
- I'm only subject to second hand smoking once every 5 years. I watch too much discovery channel. Lungs with cancer looks like horse shit.
- I've only made love with one person. This might be hellish for some.. But I kinda like sleeping with this person and only this person. Plus I think getting crabs sucks ass.
- The highest I've ever been was being on the 43rd floor of a building (but only because I pressed the wrong elevator button). Drugs? I heard they were some sort of mythical creature that sprang from unicorn shit.
- I've never shoplifted. But I did hide some of my mom's chocolates under my bed. Yeah. Not really the same thing.
- I wash behind my ears.
- My dreams are mostly about killing zombies.
- I floss.
- I spend my weekend in my jammies while watching dvds. My officemates often drag me to clubs but I pretend that I'm just sleep talking when they call me. It does the trick though.They never call back. I don't think they wanna hear me talk about bunnies. Never really been a party girl. My mom took us to clubs the moment we learned to walk. My mom has a weird way of teaching us about life. She pushes us head on without any warning. Works like a charm every time. I think she's also responsible for making me disinterested in all the other vices I know. I was turned off by beer at age 5. Have you ever had beer with cereals? Yep. I have the best mom.
- I've never met a DOM until a few nights ago. Apparently, they are not extinct.
- I've never been in a massage parlor that offers a "special" service.
- I know how stuff works. When your poop floats, be happy. Come talk to me when you want to know why.
- I like shiny things. I have no idea why. So please don't ask me.
- I'm a software engineer. 'Nuf said.
- I like loafers.
- I've never been in prison. I've seen a lot of prison cells. Trust me. They don't look like they do in the movies. Stay away at all costs.
- Please make me stop.. Just shoot me.

I'm thinking of doing something radical. But I think my mom will dice me up and feed me to ants. Plus I'm too lazy to think of anything that's not-boring-but-also-would-not-kill-me.
Weh. Maybe I'll just buy a leather jacket and some sort of whip. I heard a biker facade helps. But I think the best I can do is to look like a CareBear that didn't care. Bah. Fuck it. I like being boring.

for real?

I don't stare. And I really do have my own world. It's a gift and a curse. People cannot bother me but I also wouldn't notice if my hair was on fire. So when something happens around me, it usually takes about 30-50 tries to make me notice. I guess it must have been Marian's 50th time to put on make up for me to notice this.
Does the lip contortion really help with the make up application? Does it have a complex and higher purpose such that simple people (like me) just cannot comprehend? Or is it just some sort of ploy to lure innocent people to women's charms? Do people really look like this when they put on make up? Or is it just my girlfriend? 'Coz if it's just her, I could understand. There are a lot of things only a Marian could do.
Definitely mind boggling. I also saw her smile while applying some sort of powder on her forehead. And then she was frowning while applying something else. If there is some sort of relationship between make up application and facial expressions, please have the decency and patience to explain stuff to me. I'm afraid my girlfriend has gone coo coo. There are some things I will never understand alone. Google is stumped as well.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

How I'm spending my life.. Part 4

Marian is the master of multitasking. Here she is both sleeping and studying :

Here is another picture of her getting a facial while sleeping and studying AND doing the laundry :Isn't she awesome? The next day, she told me that she's the only one who got the perfect grade on her process training quiz. Life is weird and unfair.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

How I'm spending my life.. Part 3

I love rain. I love staring at it. I love the feel of it on my face. I even used to tilt my head back and drink the rain water.. But that was until I learned it contains toxins, some dead stuff and herpes. But still.. I think it's beautiful. 
My apartment's view kinda reminds me of home. Super thick fog. Awesome. It feels like heaven without the dry ice. My family lives on the mountains of Cebu. We've always been mountain people. The whole clan is on the mountains of Zamboanga. I used to wake up to this every morning. Of course, my mom would have to drag me to the bathroom to take a bath in freakishly icy waters. But still... I love rain.

Friday, August 1, 2008

How I'm spending my life.. Part 2

Ok. A little birdie (Aisa.. bleh.. kaw may kasalanan nito) asked me how I or Marian could stand staying with the same person for years. Seven long years, in fact. So this got me into thinking. And I swear I was there (most of the time) in that relationship. She will slap you silly if you zone out in the middle of her story. Hmmm.. I'm not attractive either. I still have to stalk a person endlessly until I scare her into just giving up and giving in to a single date. I never heard of anybody hunting down somebody because of me. But I do know someone who bawled like a baby over Marian. So.. How the hell did a simple i-like-your-shoes-that's-why-i'm-staring-at-you-you-idiot end up to living and loving together years after?

How did I endure going to Divisiora even though I'm seriously allergic (keel over and die kind of serious) to dust (ew. floating dead cells and pulverized dead stuff)?

How come I never learn whenever she says "it will only take a minute" when it comes to shopping?

And why the fuck did she not shoot herself every time I yelp at her to come quickly -- only to find that I need saving from my already-neck-deep-in-everyday-idiocy butt? (But it was valid! I swear! One of those life or death shit!)

She would rather die than be seen in a non color coordinated outfit. So.. How come she never fusses about my costume deficiency and my conscious willingness to wear a red shirt, orange shorts and seriously hot pink slippers (sexxyyyhhh)?

Is it because I liked the same ice cream flavor since I was 3? Hardly.

Is it because I like tickling her even after she has little squirts of pee in her panties?

Is it because she actually likes to pee in her panties?

Sshhiitttt................. Are we soul mates?

Is there even such a thing as soul mates?

Is it because of the cuddles we share until we fall into deep salivating slumbers?

Is it because she thinks I'm hot? OOohhhh... *wink wink*

Is it because I can peel a perfect santol?

Is it because I have 57 ways to eat spaghetti?

Is it because she is allowed to sing Brittney Spears songs without making me twitch?

Is it because I can bite into ice without flinching?

I can go on and on and on, you know.

Then it dawned on me.
I love her. Simple, huh?
I also know that I can stand at least 10 more years of carrying shopping bags for her.. (unless she leaves me for someone who can carry more than 20 shopping bags at a time)
The seven lonnngggg years does not seem that long at all. It just suddenly becomes a friggin' number.

To Koi :
Please be safe. My whole life is with you. Seriously. Please look both ways before crossing a road.