Saturday, October 12, 2013

you fucktard.

Sometimes people fall, not because of the person per se.
But because you see how fiercely she loves another. Or how fiercely she is loved. And you want that for yourself. That fierce love.. That crazy crazy feeling. That elation. An addiction.

People are selfish. But I can't be selfish. I don't want that. I don't want to be that person. I can't be that person. I will let go.

a letter.

Dear Person,

Pain demands to be felt. And when you're in the midst of it, you just want it to hurry the fuck up. You grovel and sniffle and pray for it to be over.
Now that it's finally over.. Now that I don't breakdown whenever I see you.
I just want to tell you a couple of stuff..

If you think that no one liked you, I want you to know that I liked you every single day. I did.
Despite all the hurts, I really liked my every days with you.
I loved waking up with you in my arms. I loved the scent you left on our pillows.
I loved every weird smile. Every weird expression.
I stared at you until I memorized every nook and cranny. Every twitch of your lips. Every crinkle of your nose. Your eyes. Those amazing eyes.
At that moment, I would have not held a grudge if God would take away my eyesight.. if only my last sight is the sight of you.
I loved you so.
And I had no regrets. I brought you flowers. I held your hand.

I was there. I still am.. if you need me.

I think that I'll always love you. Not as intensely of course. But a different kind of love.
A love that I will always carry with me. A love that is just for you. A love that is truly yours and yours alone.
Take care.



Staring at you. I see you.
I see you looking at her.
I wish someone would look at me that way.
That look. I know that look. Someone used to look at me that way too.
That certain angle. A small twitch of the lips. A certain light in your eyes.
Yes. I've seen that before.
I remember what it means.
You should know that, without a doubt, you are loved.
That look that says 'Hey. I love you'.
Keep looking at her that way. Never stop.