Wednesday, September 29, 2010

COTton TEXtile (Kotex)

The Great Pax of the Fashion World
aka My Sanga


As you all know, the Sanga tends to drag me everywhere she goes and just bribes me with promises of food. The Kotex blogger event was no exception. She figured "Hey she's (kind of) a blogger and there's food!" equates to "You're going. No excuses". After all, lezzies menstruate too.


Being a part of the Kotex event, I owe it to them to broadcast what I loved about their product to all my avid readers... All 6 of them + me. I read my blog too. Plus I deem it important to know that I suspect the rice was cooked with chicken stock instead of the regular water. But enough of that. I'm supposed to be blogging about Kotex.

So there I was. Smack in the middle of the most girliest people you can imagine. Gasp! The Horror! Right? ...... Meh. I admit. I like their company. Yes, they were still overproducing estrogen and still talked about shoes but they make the world a much more beautiful place.

(There's more of 'em. LOTS more.)

My mind absorbs non-sense things like where the most expensive coffee came from (Cat poop!! We have our own version - motit coffee in the Cordillera and kape alamid in Tagalog areas). I'm not a geek. Really.

So I'd like to bore you with what I read (years ago. somewhere. written on some paper. not sure if it's 100% accurate) about the beginnings of Kotex. It's interesting to know that they were first manufactured as bandages during the World War I. They developed an absorbent wadding from wood that was about 5x more absorbent than cotton and called dubbed it Cellucotton. I thought it was pretty cool. They even supplied it to the war department at cost and refused to make a healthy profit from it. Who does that? It says a lot about their company, eh?
When the war ended, taa daaaa!! No more reusing of cloth rags!

Sidenote : Can you imagine soldiers (with huge manly guns, scars and cigars) charging into war with feminine pads stuck to their foreheads? Ha! Of course, they weren't shaped like the pads we use but can you imagine them with Indie Chic pads? Legendary!

WOW (Why Only White?). Their new product is just lovely. I actually considered filling a frame with those pads. We're probably going to use them now that Sanga is already in love with them. Pssshh.. Girls. Well, it's still as absorbent (if not more) as it was in the battle fields. I actually can't feel any wetness while wearing it. And it's definitely comfortable. I didn't feel like there was something stuck down there.

I conclude that I must be a magnet. Before, during and after the presentation, cameras magically flew onto my shoulders. The girls took pictures in every corner of that damned place. Every angle. Every possibility. I may whine a lot about Sanga dragging me into stuff like these but in reality, I really just like being with her. Ew. Cheese.

on events and such

As usual, the Great Pax of the Fashion World is busy. That means I'm busy as well.

And yes, the rumor is true. All I ever did during the Metro wedding thing was hunt the food people. When they didn't stop by me anymore, I stalked them until they gave up and just handed me whatever I wanted.

(salmon + pancakes... yaaahhhhhh)

You should know that no one comes between me and my smoked salmon stacked on mini mini awesome pancakes with fish eggs. And my tuna rolled in sesame seeds. And my lamb sandwich. And my pork pie. And my panceta with cottage cheese. And my bacon tomato mini tarts. And my peperoni pizza. And my vanilla caramel ice cream. I'm still dreaming of that smoked salmon. Hmmm.. Slurp.

Sanga didn't want to mess up her makeup so I just ate her share. The caterers didn't believe me when I told them I'm eating for two (not in a pregnant kind of sense - what were they thinking?). What's up with that? I was being totally honest.

Rachel Alejandro. She was a singer right? I think I had some sort of childhood crush on her.

I'm starting to like events despite having to take a million photos of the same pose but with different widths in terms of smile and face angles. Just feed me. Heck, I even went to a super duper girly event yesterday! I should probably write something decent for Kotex. It's the least I can do. Plus I met some really cool people there.

Cge. Next post!

ULOL (ultimate lol)

1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2 Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
5 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
6 Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
7 We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
9 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
10 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
11 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
12 War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
13 If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
14 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
15 Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
16 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
17 If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
18 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
19 Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
20 A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
21 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
22 I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
23 If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
24 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
25 If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
26 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
27 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
28 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
29 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
30 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
31 A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
32 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
33 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
34 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
35 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
36 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
37 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
38 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
39 The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
40 Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
41 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
42 Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
43 The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
44 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
45 He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
46 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
47 I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
48 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
49 God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
50 Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
51 The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
52 Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
53 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
54 Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
55 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
56 Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
57 Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
58 It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
59 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
60 Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
61 You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
62 Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
63 I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
64 A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
65 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
66 I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
67 Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
68 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
69 We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
70 You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
71 I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.
72 A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
73 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
74 Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
75 Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
76 There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
77 I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
78 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
79 Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
80 I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
81 If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
82 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
83 When in doubt, mumble.
84 I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
85 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
86 Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
87 A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
88 A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
89 Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
90 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
91 Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
92 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
93 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
94 Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
95 Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
96 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
97 If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
98 If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
99 If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
100 Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

yowza!

I have boobs of steel. Or eagle eyes. I'm getting pretty good at this counter snipe game I've been recently addicted to. I've been getting lots of practice since The Great Pax is usually still asleep as I arrive. Just something to pass time.

It's pretty fun but kinda stressful to the eyes. You have to find the targets. Sometimes only the heads are showing. That is so wrong, man! So wrong. And they're only like small dots on the screen.

(My avatar looks constipated)

See? Just added the red arrow. It's point to the head of your target. And the map is HUGE. There are 3 more buildings right beside this gray one. You have to pan left and right. Up and down. A B A B. Select start.

Not only do you have to find the target, you also have to shoot it while the gun is "swaying" around. I find that cursing the mouse does not help. You have to summon all your patience. Mind fuck it. Find your inner "rhythm". And then click. Insane. Just insane! I tell ya!

But, oh how I love a good challenge.



Yep. That's me. Waving the Philippine Flag on Second place (24,300 - sniped 80 guys, all headshots with 95% accuracy --- once again, Boobs Of Steel). If PNoy sees this, he'll definitely give me a medal or something. But I'll settle for a house and lot. The guy in first place has 25,100 points. But the 3rd guy only has 8k points. Talk about eating our dusts (for the day)!

Anyway, The Great Pax better wake up soon or else I'm going to need some sort of intervention. On the other hand, my peripheral vision is just awesome now.


Post Scriptum :
Hoy Isabel. You're right. My eyes were rolling as I read your post about "saving". Di nga? Totoo? Weh. Weh?

Monday, September 13, 2010

i like waffles

I've been watching really morbid stuff on fb lately. People have been posting videos with smashed skulls. One was still alive. I think he was even trying to smile with what's left of his face. He had half a jaw, 1/4 of a tongue and 2 teeth - yan ang fighting spirit!

There was even a video collection of people being run over by cars. Yeah. Roadkill collection. At home, we're currently watching Dexter series. Have you seen the video where an infant was used as a cocaine mule? I'm pretty sure that was fake though. But still.. Morbid. I'm not saying I enjoy watching those. I'm not sick or anything.. even though I browse Rotten.com (not for the faint of heart) on a weekly basis. It's just devastating.
(Dexter Morgan!)

But what is more devastating is the fact that "The Great Pax of the Fashion World" is now in possession of her credit card. I took her cards until she closed the other accounts. Damage control. But now that the other cards are gone, I gave it back (she only has 1 now). The first thing she bought using her card was a huge closet. Then 2 shoe cabinets, hats, accessories, belts, organizer, pizza.. Boom boom boom. In rapid succession..

She's faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Sanga running around malls!


But you just kinda forget that she bought all that because she does the puss-in-boots-eyes routine. I always fall for that. When I turn around, I can almost hear a dracula evil laugh complete with thunder effects (mwuaahhahaha). That's not right, man. That's not right.

So. This post was supposed to be about my love for waffles. But I get distracted easily.

Waffle Sneakers!!

Monday, September 6, 2010

o.0

My boss is going to kill me. I can't stop staring at my wrist.

No, I don't have some sick wrist fetish nor do I have suicidal tendencies.

I just like staring at what is on my wrist. It's so purrrddyyy.. :p~~ (tulo-laway or 2 baby snakes entering your mouth -- which ever way you look at it)

This isn't really my watch but it looks just like it.. But my watch is 100x more purdier. And a lot more "clean" looking. Classy, eh? Just the way I like it. It's so purdy that I even caught a few guys looking at it. I'm a proud momma. I'm going to have to post a picture of it soon.


It is Sanga's gift. For what? I have no idea. My birthday is 2 months away and I did not do anything worthy of it (like saving the world or doing the laundry... waaiittt.. She doesn't expect me to do the laundry after this right? -_- )

Pa sweet ang Sanga. Heeee.. But what I treasured more were the words scribbled on the card she gave me. Akalain mo?

Plus she cooked for me before coming to work. This is amazing. Just so you know, she hates cooking. I do the cooking 99.99% of the time.

Absolutely mind boggling. There must be something on the internet to explain such behavior.

Hmm.. I think she might be in love with me.

(If you stare at her baby picture long enough, you'll see an image of a shoe or a bag.)

----
Holy shit. She posted a link of my blog on her blog. I'm going to have to get her for that as soon as I'm home.