Tuesday, August 24, 2010

tanginang aso yan binuntis yung legs ko

My left ankle still smells of dog saliva. And my right leg is pregnant. I asked him if he could support our many many children (based on how fast he was bumping uglies, I think he could repopulate the earth and a few neighboring planets all by himself). All he could utter amidst all the grinding was "Aw Rawrrff".
Trying to reach my legs. Thank God for small dogs.

The moment we entered the house, all the molecules in our bodies were greedily inhaled. Lei just said "This is Zypher. Oh, umm.. he likes lezzies". And so the humping journey began. Aisa was spared (only because she has the bisexual vibe) but he just loved the scent of my feet. Yay me.

Anyway, I endured the allergies and dog friskiness because it was Sanga's birthday. She is now officially my "ate" for 3 months. She hates it. So I call her "ate" every chance I get.

Sanga is a pussy (not the bastos kind, you weirdo). The picture below will be exhibit A.
We were inside the cave for barely a minute. She immediately sensed danger -- which roughly translates to -> her shoes were going to get muddy. Arte! She held on to the headlamp like it was her only salvation. I seriously could not pry it away from her. All she could utter was "my shoes! augh.. omygodomygodomygod.. babyyyy.. ayoko na ditoooooo"
She was scared of something else though. I do agree. It was kripi! It felt like someone was watching you and you'll be ambushed by something ugly if you took another step.

I didn't notice it before but the place is teeming with dogs and lezzies. There's probably a rugmuncher for every square meter. Cool. Parteh.

Lion? Bear?

I've always thought that Baguio was awesome. It reminded me of home .. minus the humping dogs of course.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

oh gloria gloria

She hates me.

Gloria Jean just hates me.

I drank a cup of white chocolate mocha thingy yesterday because "The Sanga" met up with her Rob friends. A few hours later, I was practically married to the toilet seat. Gave it my all. Something (I can't say where) is sore. Seconds turned to hours. Yeah. I'm not afraid to talk about my bowel movements.

The agony.





As I was sitting there - holding on for dear life, I realized how cruel life can be. Being stuck to the toilet seat like that makes you ponder a lot of stuff - the most important things in life.

For example,

Hitting two birds with one stone. Why on earth would anyone want to hit two birds with one stone? Unless it's a survival thing, of course. But I can barely stomach hitting one. What makes people think it's better to hit two? And -- at the same time no less!
When I was in grade school, I cried my eyes out whenever I heard that Tagalog song "Mamang kay lupit. Ang puso moy di nahabag.. ". You know that song? We had to perform it on-stage. Can you imagine holding back your tears and mucous while playing the flute? No you can't.

I know someone who passes time at grocery stores by poking small holes in condom packets. He likes giving surprises to everyone. Mean ass! :p

Why is she allowed to wear a cape and I'm not? (referring to the white outfit on the left).
How come Sanga boinks me on the head and gives me the "evil, cold and judging" eye if I even as much as hint about wearing capes?

Can you guess what those are? Hee hee

Breast implants creep me out. I saw this thing on television where they exhumed a porn star and her breast implants were still intact. They really do last forever.

Hmm. Never again. But it's such a delicious way to purge my colon though.. ^-^

Monday, August 16, 2010

a revelation

The Great Pax of the Fashion World and Aiza Liit commented on my blog. And apart from them, I have 2 followers. Yes, count it baby. 1 2.

I just realized something..


I'm famous!!! For reals dude! Woot woot! Kalokaaa!! (I really like saying this word - kalurkey lurkey) LOL. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you guys for the support! mwwahh.

So now that I'm famous and all, I guess I owe it to my followers to continue the 30-day challenge with vigor and renewed strength.

Actually, I'm really just bored at work. I've already memorized my boss' (very nice guy in real life) nose cleaning techniques (ew-ness. He has 5. Not that you need to know). Seriously, the guy has mini mounds of booger on his table. Whadapak. As I am writing this, I am strongly holding back the urge to take a picture.

So.. To keep my sanity :

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Seriously. I've been to a shitty comfort room in La Union. Nobody wants a picture of that. But yeah, I'm happy to say I've been to places here and abroad.
Recent one. The Ruins of Bacolod. Visited Aisa's family.

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Grade one teh?

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
A picture of my mom? Blech. Boring. Oh! Poor her. She broke her ankle in two places but she's all right now. Old people are soo brittle. I worry.
I bought her, my sister and stepdad tickets to Singapore for their birthdays. Despite the cast, she's still excited to go. How excited, you ask? Already perfected her Japan2x, Korean2x photo poses. Activated her roaming thing. Bought new "outfits". Bought snacks just in case they get hungry while touring. Paid bills. Arranged every small detail the housekeeper should do while they're away. Bought enough doggie supplies for Boo. This was done approximately a month before the actual flight date. Now, she's rethinking her outfit due to recent accident. She's ranting that she can't wear shorts anymore.

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Tsk. This one is easy.
Yeah. I am proud of her. They are not my achievements of course but I am happiest when she's happy. And she's happiest while doing her thing. Fashion styling. Blogging. Mga ka artehan. I accompanied her yesterday because she needed to shop for this Friday's styling stint. People give her free stuff. She gives free stuff to people. And she's going to participate in an event where she's going to style a kid that needs to boost her confidence. She's just ecstatic about it.

And I'm not bored anymore so 'til next time!