Girls and their shoes..

When Marian shops for shoes, she usually just leaves me in a corner somewhere. Mumbling. Computing the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Thinking about killing zombies. Looking for exits. What food I'm taking. Where I can find weapons. Grenades would be awesome. Where I should head to. You know. Stuff. I'm easily entertained.

And then I looked up. Everything I was thinking about was completely forgotten. Carefully thought-about strategies. Logical next steps. Plan Bs. It was replaced by one thought.. and one thought only --------- What the hell?
Who in their right minds would wear such a thing? Who thought about this? And how is this supposed to be worn?

Girls and their silly silly silly foot contraptions.

Looking around, I changed my mind about shoe shopping being boring.

This one would be nice if you're dressing up to be Catwoman. (mmm.. Catwoman..)
Or if you're preparing for some snake attacks.
Shoes come from outer space.
Anyway, she had the hugest smile when she came back to my little corner of newfound fascination. And I knew. Yeaaaahhhh!! We can finally watch a movie!
She often asks me what I think. I have finally figured out how to answer such alien questions. I think it's pretty simple. If you see her with that goofy-i-have-found-my-true-love smile, it's a definite 'Yes'.
Since she got a 25% discount on this one, she chose this one to complete her shoe budget.
I thought we were done with 3 hours of shuffling and looking at about approximately 90 different shoe styles. Apparently, when girls find their shoes, they spend another hour looking around - doing their last round of inspection - just to make sure there's nothing she forgot to take a closer look at.

I think my mom forgot to educate me on this one. I rarely notice these stuff since I just go into auto pilot.

It's ok. At least, I have 2 shoes to blackmail her when I do something stupid.

How I'm spending my life.. Part 6

Update :
Ok. Maybe I'm not that stubborn afterall..


I'm stubborn. I'm probably one of the top 10 most stubborn people in the world. My rules are set in stone. It never changes unless you have another chisel to rewrite the rules.

I can't help it. It's the way I'm built.

If I say I won't play another round of dota, you're gonna have to drag me to the internet cafe and threaten to kill me and my whole clan just to make me play.
If you challenge me to ignore you, I'll probably ignore you until we're 70 years old. If you're choking or if you're foaming at the mouth, I'd bring you to the hospital but I'd still ignore you. I may not like ignoring you and maybe it's causing some sort of bowel movement malfunction but I'd still ignore you.
If I ask you not to buy me underwear, never buy me underwear. There's a better chance of hell freezing over than you buying me underwear.

But I think I'm learning to be a little less stubborn every year.. About .001% less stubborn.

So.. Yeah.. (-_-)

How I'm spending my life.. Part 5

It's official.

I'm boring.

And what made me come to this conclusion? I met people with actual battle scars. So there we were.. Chatting the hours away.. Comparing battle scars.. Only, I realized I actually had none.

- I've never been drunk. They drank yesterday and they were still drunk 5 days later. On a Saturday morning, my officemate drinks some sort of vodka + rum + something else.. He hibernates and wakes up on a Monday evening. He has no liver.
- I'm only subject to second hand smoking once every 5 years. I watch too much discovery channel. Lungs with cancer looks like horse shit.
- I've only made love with one person. This might be hellish for some.. But I kinda like sleeping with this person and only this person. Plus I think getting crabs sucks ass.
- The highest I've ever been was being on the 43rd floor of a building (but only because I pressed the wrong elevator button). Drugs? I heard they were some sort of mythical creature that sprang from unicorn shit.
- I've never shoplifted. But I did hide some of my mom's chocolates under my bed. Yeah. Not really the same thing.
- I wash behind my ears.
- My dreams are mostly about killing zombies.
- I floss.
- I spend my weekend in my jammies while watching dvds. My officemates often drag me to clubs but I pretend that I'm just sleep talking when they call me. It does the trick though.They never call back. I don't think they wanna hear me talk about bunnies. Never really been a party girl. My mom took us to clubs the moment we learned to walk. My mom has a weird way of teaching us about life. She pushes us head on without any warning. Works like a charm every time. I think she's also responsible for making me disinterested in all the other vices I know. I was turned off by beer at age 5. Have you ever had beer with cereals? Yep. I have the best mom.
- I've never met a DOM until a few nights ago. Apparently, they are not extinct.
- I've never been in a massage parlor that offers a "special" service.
- I know how stuff works. When your poop floats, be happy. Come talk to me when you want to know why.
- I like shiny things. I have no idea why. So please don't ask me.
- I'm a software engineer. 'Nuf said.
- I like loafers.
- I've never been in prison. I've seen a lot of prison cells. Trust me. They don't look like they do in the movies. Stay away at all costs.
- Please make me stop.. Just shoot me.

I'm thinking of doing something radical. But I think my mom will dice me up and feed me to ants. Plus I'm too lazy to think of anything that's not-boring-but-also-would-not-kill-me.
Weh. Maybe I'll just buy a leather jacket and some sort of whip. I heard a biker facade helps. But I think the best I can do is to look like a CareBear that didn't care. Bah. Fuck it. I like being boring.

for real?

I don't stare. And I really do have my own world. It's a gift and a curse. People cannot bother me but I also wouldn't notice if my hair was on fire. So when something happens around me, it usually takes about 30-50 tries to make me notice. I guess it must have been Marian's 50th time to put on make up for me to notice this.
Does the lip contortion really help with the make up application? Does it have a complex and higher purpose such that simple people (like me) just cannot comprehend? Or is it just some sort of ploy to lure innocent people to women's charms? Do people really look like this when they put on make up? Or is it just my girlfriend? 'Coz if it's just her, I could understand. There are a lot of things only a Marian could do.
Definitely mind boggling. I also saw her smile while applying some sort of powder on her forehead. And then she was frowning while applying something else. If there is some sort of relationship between make up application and facial expressions, please have the decency and patience to explain stuff to me. I'm afraid my girlfriend has gone coo coo. There are some things I will never understand alone. Google is stumped as well.

How I'm spending my life.. Part 4

Marian is the master of multitasking. Here she is both sleeping and studying :

Here is another picture of her getting a facial while sleeping and studying AND doing the laundry :Isn't she awesome? The next day, she told me that she's the only one who got the perfect grade on her process training quiz. Life is weird and unfair.

How I'm spending my life.. Part 3

I love rain. I love staring at it. I love the feel of it on my face. I even used to tilt my head back and drink the rain water.. But that was until I learned it contains toxins, some dead stuff and herpes. But still.. I think it's beautiful. 

My apartment's view kinda reminds me of home. Super thick fog. Awesome. It feels like heaven without the dry ice. My family lives on the mountains of Cebu. We've always been mountain people. The whole clan is on the mountains of Zamboanga. I used to wake up to this every morning. Of course, my mom would have to drag me to the bathroom to take a bath in freakishly icy waters. But still... I love rain.

How I'm spending my life.. Part 2

Ok. A little birdie (Aisa.. bleh.. kaw may kasalanan nito) asked me how I or Marian could stand staying with the same person for years. Seven long years, in fact. So this got me into thinking. And I swear I was there (most of the time) in that relationship. She will slap you silly if you zone out in the middle of her story. Hmmm.. I'm not attractive either. I still have to stalk a person endlessly until I scare her into just giving up and giving in to a single date. I never heard of anybody hunting down somebody because of me. But I do know someone who bawled like a baby over Marian. So.. How the hell did a simple i-like-your-shoes-that's-why-i'm-staring-at-you-you-idiot end up to living and loving together years after?

How did I endure going to Divisiora even though I'm seriously allergic (keel over and die kind of serious) to dust (ew. floating dead cells and pulverized dead stuff)?

How come I never learn whenever she says "it will only take a minute" when it comes to shopping?

And why the fuck did she not shoot herself every time I yelp at her to come quickly -- only to find that I need saving from my already-neck-deep-in-everyday-idiocy butt? (But it was valid! I swear! One of those life or death shit!)

She would rather die than be seen in a non color coordinated outfit. So.. How come she never fusses about my costume deficiency and my conscious willingness to wear a red shirt, orange shorts and seriously hot pink slippers (sexxyyyhhh)?

Is it because I liked the same ice cream flavor since I was 3? Hardly.

Is it because I like tickling her even after she has little squirts of pee in her panties?

Is it because she actually likes to pee in her panties?

Sshhiitttt................. Are we soul mates?

Is there even such a thing as soul mates?

Is it because of the cuddles we share until we fall into deep salivating slumbers?

Is it because she thinks I'm hot? OOohhhh... *wink wink*

Is it because I can peel a perfect santol?

Is it because I have 57 ways to eat spaghetti?

Is it because she is allowed to sing Brittney Spears songs without making me twitch?

Is it because I can bite into ice without flinching?

I can go on and on and on, you know.

Then it dawned on me.
I love her. Simple, huh?
I also know that I can stand at least 10 more years of carrying shopping bags for her.. (unless she leaves me for someone who can carry more than 20 shopping bags at a time)
The seven lonnngggg years does not seem that long at all. It just suddenly becomes a friggin' number.

To Koi :
Please be safe. My whole life is with you. Seriously. Please look both ways before crossing a road.