amnesia..

Got a mini amnesia from all the work I'm doing in Friendster. (Yes, it "still" exists. I'm not messing with you. I was actually surprised too. When they asked me to come for an interview, I thought I was gonna have to ride a train on some sort of 3/4 platform and pass by Hogwarts. I did look forward to the train ride. But, instead, I rode a taxi to Makati).

I was reminded last night that I actually had a blog! Yeah.. I have a million things to write about (specifically Sanga's new weirdness - Recently, she got locked out of our apartment. Got stuck in our balcony while posing for pictures wearing a blazer and a few hats. Teehee. More on that soon.)

So, I don't have much time now. I only have a few more minutes 'til my engineer partner comes in and we write another magical code to make the site actually show up.

And what did I choose to talk about in my few precious minutes?

Balot.

Yep.

You've all cupped the warm egg (no pun intended) in your hands.

Anyway, my current engineer partner is an American. I've teased him about eating balot a couple of times. We decided to get him some balot but he always magically disappears. He now flinches at words starting with "ba.." even if I just meant to say "ba"ndana...

So what's the fuss all about?

This may sound so un-Filipino of me but Balot gives me the hibbyjibbies. Yes, I've eaten the egg and sipped on the "soup". I've even tried chewing (for hours.. hourss!!!) on that white rubber thing on the bottom of the balot but I have never placed my tongue anywhere near the fetus.

(those aren't my nails. they're filthy. wahahaha.. kumuha nga lang ng picture e, di man lang nag "thank u" tas nanlait pa.)

Yaaakks. Ka der der.

I eat chicken intestines (isaw. yumyum) but not when it's still inside the actual container. And not with beaks and feathers.


Here's a list of street foods I "might" consider eating but have not yet eaten :
- chicken feet
- chicken neck
- chicken head
- chicken ass -- basically, all weird chicken parts. But I eat chicken nuggets that is reportedly a mixture of these parts. I don't care as long as I don't actually see them.
- betamax (coagulated blood) --- Sanga says this is awesome but I don't believe her. I took one teeny tiny bite but it jumped out of my mouth. It wasn't my fault.
- tiny tiny fried baby chicken (or is it duck?) --- It's like balut outside the shell.
- taba (pork fat that has been bbq-ed) --- It's one stick of pure heart attack. Sanga can eat 3 sticks of these.
- pig intestine --- Filthy. But possibly really yummy. Based on the number of people ordering it.

Still debating if I've already eaten some of those without my knowledge. Sometimes Sanga shoves things in my mouth I don't necessarily approve of. Can anyone tell me what a "buchi" is? I think she made me chew on one the other week. Every time she shoves things in my mouth, she grins. I can't remember ever seeing a grin so magnificently absurd.

Sooo... I do love street foods. It's amazing to look at. But I'm still waiting for God to give me the courage to make me shove the chicken head down my throat.

Go ahead, God. Take your time. I'm not in a hurry.. :D

ants in my pants

I just read a yahoo article about a green blob spouting new stars that are probably just a million years old now (yes. geeky. whatevs). But what really caught my attention was this :

"The blob is the size of our own Milky Way Galaxy and it is 650 million light years away. Each light year is about 6 trillion miles."

I tried inputting the numbers in the laptop calc but it died on me so I had to restart my laptop. WTF right? Kids, don't do this if you don't have a powerful processor.

Aliens. There must be something else out there. If we're alone, then it's a serious waste of space, dude. Come to think of it.. We could be ants in someone's pants. Actually, I think we're quarks on an elephant's ear wax.

With this in mind, I suddenly feel a lot better. I'm not stressing about the bills, loans, pimples and uneven skin tone anymore. I've been so self centered lately. Tsk tsk.

But I still think I'm going to win the lottery.. if I can just find the time to actually bet on it.

Oh btw, my gf (The Great Pax of the Fashion World) has a hater. LOL. Imagine that. She's the most sanga person I've ever met and she has a hater. Nyahahah.. That's just too funny.

Yeah yeah.. she already knows she's not the prettiest meat blob. Well, I like her just the way she is. And 65million years from now, when her face has more lines and intersections than the roadmaps of the world, I will still think she's 'da bomb'. Ya heard? (i am so not cool) I hope she knows I think she's the prettiest meat blob. Everybody has an opinion but not everybody's opinion should matter. Seeing that we're like this tiny tiny dots on the greater scale of things, the best we can do is to be happy about who we are and be grateful of what we have. Ang hirap mag english.

yyaaakkk...

I have to stop for a bit.

Sigh.

I've been reading zombie stories a few hours after my last post. Thus explains my lack of interest in my blog for a few weeks now. I've been deep in zombie guts that I've forgotten all about watching Bear Grylls eat raw snakes and falling into deep holes (lol on that one).

Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Even brave enough to add a dash of ketchup. While reading about guts and blood. Eyeballs popping yellow puss. Maggots. The smell of shit hitting the fan. A thousand rotting corpses. Ripping. "Chewing". I have a very active imagination and sense of smell. Despite that, I held my food in. No vomiting of sorts. Yeah. I have boobs of steel and claws in my vajayjay.

But then, I happened upon a story that turned my stomach. The one and only story that made me want to hurl. It's a story about oldies (60-70 year olds) fighting over a guy and having sex with him even though he is already a zombie. It results to one of them having a rotting vagina. He's a great writer. Described it perfectly. Once again, I have a very wild imagination. Cursed.

Read here : http://www.talesofworldwarz.com/stories/2007/09/19/lilies-for-donald-by-jeffrey-derego/#more-24

I can totally relate to Sheldon when Howard said that "Gammy" had sex and she liked it. Nobody talks about Gammy that way!! Yaaakk.

So we're here. I'm still trying to hold my lunch down.

My zombie scenarios have rubbed off on Sanga. It worries me because she is paranoid at times. But it's nice to cuddle and plan with the Sanga about the layout of our zombie proof fortress. It's kinda like planning about a wedding and kids. Only a bit more morbid than most.

:p

unfinished business

The Sanga has this habit of ordering mounds of food (3-5 different kinds), eating a few bites, and then stocking them until she has the urge to eat them again.

For example, she would order Jollibee Champ, fries and pancakes. Then I would wake up to a half eaten burger, a few missing holes on the pancakes, 5 pcs. of fries, and a half eaten chow mien (she got bored with her array of food and had to cook up another one).

I once saw a half eaten (half dissolved rather) lollipop.. (-_-)*

It never ceases to amaze me how she will never touch fish without soy sauce, kalamansi, and chili. Never forget to ask for additional ketchup or else she'll never touch the chicken.

Now, we have a whole shelf labeled as "Sanga's land of unfinished stuff". A few gulps of coke/rootbeer here and there. 2 pcs of Toblerone. Kitkat bites. Yakult. Yan2x. Loaker. Chocolate pudding. Milk. Nuts. Candy stuff. Chocolate covered polvoron.

I complained once about the shelf. So she tried to eat everything on that shelf at once.

(pardon the crappy photo)

And then she raved on for a few hours because of a sugar high. Oh my bleeding ears.

There's no point to this post actually. I just find her and her shelf amusing. Mehehee. I'm currently staring at the half eaten chicken wing on the table.

I'll probably post about her sleeping habits next. Oh you won't want to miss that!

COTton TEXtile (Kotex)

The Great Pax of the Fashion World
aka My Sanga

As you all know, the Sanga tends to drag me everywhere she goes and just bribes me with promises of food. The Kotex blogger event was no exception. She figured "Hey she's (kind of) a blogger and there's food!" equates to "You're going. No excuses". After all, lezzies menstruate too.


Being a part of the Kotex event, I owe it to them to broadcast what I loved about their product to all my avid readers... All 6 of them + me. I read my blog too. Plus I deem it important to know that I suspect the rice was cooked with chicken stock instead of the regular water. But enough of that. I'm supposed to be blogging about Kotex.

So there I was. Smack in the middle of the most girliest people you can imagine. Gasp! The Horror! Right? ...... Meh. I admit. I like their company. Yes, they were still overproducing estrogen and still talked about shoes but they make the world a much more beautiful place.

(There's more of 'em. LOTS more.)

My mind absorbs non-sense things like where the most expensive coffee came from (Cat poop!! We have our own version - motit coffee in the Cordillera and kape alamid in Tagalog areas). I'm not a geek. Really.

So I'd like to bore you with what I read (years ago. somewhere. written on some paper. not sure if it's 100% accurate) about the beginnings of Kotex. It's interesting to know that they were first manufactured as bandages during the World War I. They developed an absorbent wadding from wood that was about 5x more absorbent than cotton and called dubbed it Cellucotton. I thought it was pretty cool. They even supplied it to the war department at cost and refused to make a healthy profit from it. Who does that? It says a lot about their company, eh?
When the war ended, taa daaaa!! No more reusing of cloth rags!

Sidenote : Can you imagine soldiers (with huge manly guns, scars and cigars) charging into war with feminine pads stuck to their foreheads? Ha! Of course, they weren't shaped like the pads we use but can you imagine them with Indie Chic pads? Legendary!

WOW (Why Only White?). Their new product is just lovely. I actually considered filling a frame with those pads. We're probably going to use them now that Sanga is already in love with them. Pssshh.. Girls. Well, it's still as absorbent (if not more) as it was in the battle fields. I actually can't feel any wetness while wearing it. And it's definitely comfortable. I didn't feel like there was something stuck down there.

I conclude that I must be a magnet. Before, during and after the presentation, cameras magically flew onto my shoulders. The girls took pictures in every corner of that damned place. Every angle. Every possibility. I may whine a lot about Sanga dragging me into stuff like these but in reality, I really just like being with her. Ew. Cheese.

on events and such

As usual, the Great Pax of the Fashion World is busy. That means I'm busy as well.

And yes, the rumor is true. All I ever did during the Metro wedding thing was hunt the food people. When they didn't stop by me anymore, I stalked them until they gave up and just handed me whatever I wanted.

(salmon + pancakes... yaaahhhhhh)

You should know that no one comes between me and my smoked salmon stacked on mini mini awesome pancakes with fish eggs. And my tuna rolled in sesame seeds. And my lamb sandwich. And my pork pie. And my panceta with cottage cheese. And my bacon tomato mini tarts. And my peperoni pizza. And my vanilla caramel ice cream. I'm still dreaming of that smoked salmon. Hmmm.. Slurp.

Sanga didn't want to mess up her makeup so I just ate her share. The caterers didn't believe me when I told them I'm eating for two (not in a pregnant kind of sense - what were they thinking?). What's up with that? I was being totally honest.

Rachel Alejandro. She was a singer right? I think I had some sort of childhood crush on her.

I'm starting to like events despite having to take a million photos of the same pose but with different widths in terms of smile and face angles. Just feed me. Heck, I even went to a super duper girly event yesterday! I should probably write something decent for Kotex. It's the least I can do. Plus I met some really cool people there.

Cge. Next post!

ULOL (ultimate lol)

1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2 Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
5 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
6 Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
7 We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
9 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
10 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
11 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
12 War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
13 If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
14 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
15 Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
16 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
17 If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
18 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
19 Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
20 A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
21 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
22 I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
23 If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
24 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
25 If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
26 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
27 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
28 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
29 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
30 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
31 A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
32 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
33 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
34 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
35 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
36 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
37 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
38 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
39 The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
40 Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
41 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
42 Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
43 The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
44 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
45 He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
46 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
47 I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
48 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
49 God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
50 Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
51 The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
52 Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
53 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
54 Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
55 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
56 Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
57 Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
58 It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
59 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
60 Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
61 You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
62 Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
63 I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
64 A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
65 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
66 I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
67 Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
68 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
69 We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
70 You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
71 I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.
72 A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
73 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
74 Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
75 Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
76 There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
77 I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
78 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
79 Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
80 I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
81 If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
82 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
83 When in doubt, mumble.
84 I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
85 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
86 Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
87 A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
88 A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
89 Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
90 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
91 Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
92 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
93 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
94 Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
95 Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
96 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
97 If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
98 If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
99 If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
100 Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.