Friday, October 3, 2014

dear awi,

i have a suspicion that we are happy inside our bubble. it's when other people come in that ruins it for us. 

but it's not true, is it? this bubble? 

i know you'll never agree to this. not even in my wildest dreams. 
not even if i pray real hard. 
not even if i beg and bleed.
despite that, i still want you to know i'll always want an "us". i'll keep on rooting for this team. i hope someday you'll be brave enough to admit you want that same "us".  but i want it to be our definition. not just mine.

did it ever occur to you that maybe i'm not a substitute for a love that was lost? maybe this was the love you were supposed to find. or not. haha. there are so many maybes. it's fucked up.
all i know is that whatever this is, it scares the shit out of you.

i know it's hard but i was hoping you would choose me over that pain. to just breathe beside me now. 

i guess.. it's choosing to be happy that proves to be the most difficult because in that head of yours, you don't really want to be happy. at least not yet.

it's ok. i want you to choose to break my heart instead. i'll live.


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