Missed. You are missed.

I miss you. And the funny thing is, I haven't even met you yet.

I miss writing love letters. 

I wonder how you would feel like in my arms. I wonder how you smell like.

Sometimes, it feels like I was just resting and I've forgotten I was supposed to look for you.

You are missed, love.

You are.

The Sweet Far Thing

I like this. Same word popped out of my head. Restless.


"Do you ever feel that way?"

"Lonely?"

I search for the words. "Restless. As if you haven't really met yourself yet. As if you'd passed yourself once in the fog, and your heart leapt - 'Ah! There I Am! I've been missing that piece!' But it happens too fast, and then that part of you disappears into the fog again. And you spend the rest of your days looking for it."

He nods, and I think he's appeasing me. I feel stupid of having said it. It's sentimental and true, and I've revealed a part of myself I shouldn't have.

"Do you know what I think?" Kartik says at last.

"What?"

"Sometimes, I think you can glimpse it in another.”


-- Libba Bray

lost

I go out a lot recently.

And I'm tired. My eye bags have become eye suitcases.

But I can't stop.

Because if I stop, sometimes I feel lonely.
Or maybe I'm not lonely at all.

I am restless.

I think I might be restless.
I'm generally happy. It's just that.. I can't help but notice that something is missing.

I lost something.

What thing?

I dunno...

What is it?

-___-




I might have given it to her and now she's gone.

Or maybe it wasn't her after all.

I've forgotten what I've lost.



Is it "me"?

Am I looking for myself?

Pffft. No.

No. I've found myself long before I've found anyone else. I'm still me.
Still the same.
Same goofy smile.
Same random thoughts.

What the fuck am I looking for?


Hmm..

That part of my soul.



I can't help it. I'm made this way. I've always believed that we're all here for love.
Always for love.
There doesn't seem to be a point for anything else.

Yes.

That part of my soul is missing.

I am not lonely. I am restless. Restless. I can't stop looking for you.

Where are you?


I'll send out a beacon for you. I'll travel the world if I have to.

I'll come and find you.

boom.

I love you.

I do.

You have my word.

You have all my words.

you fucktard.

Sometimes people fall, not because of the person per se.
But because you see how fiercely she loves another. Or how fiercely she is loved. And you want that for yourself. That fierce love.. That crazy crazy feeling. That elation. An addiction.

People are selfish. But I can't be selfish. I don't want that. I don't want to be that person. I can't be that person. I will let go.

a letter.

Dear Person,

Pain demands to be felt. And when you're in the midst of it, you just want it to hurry the fuck up. You grovel and sniffle and pray for it to be over.
Now that it's finally over.. Now that I don't breakdown whenever I see you.
I just want to tell you a couple of stuff..

If you think that no one liked you, I want you to know that I liked you every single day. I did.
Despite all the hurts, I really liked my every days with you.
I loved waking up with you in my arms. I loved the scent you left on our pillows.
I loved every weird smile. Every weird expression.
I stared at you until I memorized every nook and cranny. Every twitch of your lips. Every crinkle of your nose. Your eyes. Those amazing eyes.
At that moment, I would have not held a grudge if God would take away my eyesight.. if only my last sight is the sight of you.
I loved you so.
And I had no regrets. I brought you flowers. I held your hand.

I was there. I still am.. if you need me.

I think that I'll always love you. Not as intensely of course. But a different kind of love.
A love that I will always carry with me. A love that is just for you. A love that is truly yours and yours alone.
Take care.

Cheers,
Mich

kisapmata

Staring at you. I see you.
I see you looking at her.
I wish someone would look at me that way.
Someday.
Maybe.
That look. I know that look. Someone used to look at me that way too.
That certain angle. A small twitch of the lips. A certain light in your eyes.
Yes. I've seen that before.
I remember what it means.
You should know that, without a doubt, you are loved.
That look that says 'Hey. I love you'.
Keep looking at her that way. Never stop.