Roots

 My love is deeply rooted.

A seed that found its place, when first I glimpsed your face.

Though time and distance kept us apart, that seed lay dormant, 

Waiting patiently beneath the surface.

After all these years, it has sprouted into a tender tree, 

Delicate yet resilient. 

I know this tree is still so young, its branches small and thin,
But like my love, it will grow stronger
A force that even the strongest storms cannot win.

(Although, it was never weak in the first place)

These roots have woven through my soul,
Entwining every inch of me.
They anchor deep, beyond my hold,
A bond that breathes in all I am.

Should you choose to uproot it, I fear the very earth beneath it would crumble,
For you hold the power to unravel me completely.

But I pray you choose to water it,
To let it drink the rain.

My deepest wish, my most cherished hope,
Is that we’ll tend our garden together,
With patience and tenderness,

Until it blossoms into a sanctuary,
Where we can rest beneath its gentle shade.

Why?

You’ve often asked why I love you,

And each time, I fumble with words—

Not for lack of feeling, but simply because I do not have the words to capture it.

My love, I am no poet.

To simply praise your beauty feels like touching the surface of an ocean,
When what I feel for you runs deep,
Far beyond the reach of mere appearance.

The truth is, I cannot predict the future;
It's a vast, uncharted sea.
I carry fears within me, countless as the stars—
Fears of the unknown, fears of what may come.
But even in the face of these fears,
I find myself drawn to the journey,
Eager to see what lies ahead.

And in that unknown,
I know one thing with certainty:
I want to walk this path with you by my side,
To face the dawns and dusks together,
To discover the future hand in hand.

I know I love you,
For despite my fears, 

I find myself standing here.

I love you because,

In your presence, 

I forget what it means to be afraid.

For with you,
I am brave. I am home.
And with you,
Even though, I yearn to be more than I am..
I am also enough.

I've had conversations with friends asking me why I did the things I did (referring to skydiving, scuba, etc). I've never really given a concrete answer - I just told them I was "curious".

It always felt like it was not enough of a reason and gave me a bad taste in my mouth.

In reality, I just did not want to ask them why they are guarding themselves so much. What is the goal? To reach 90? And then what? 

(P.S. I'm not an idiot. I do have savings in case I reach 90 hahahaha)

I've often asked myself these questions. I know I am not a bad person. I have been judged for giving myself to people whom I know cannot repay me. I have always believed you cannot love a person who is gone. So love now. Give now. Live now. 

If I die young, I will have one regret though. I would have loved to wake up with my person and prepare coffee for her in our kitchen. Then tended to our garden while she stayed in the shade because she will probably kill my plants if she as much as winked at them. We would have prepared lunch together. Our humba would be renamed/rebranded as adobo since we didn't get our measurements right.

God willing, I do hope to deserve that too. 

But ohhh man, I know I would have no questions. I will sample the best life has offered me and share it with people I love.

I'm not saying you should try skydiving. I am saying to not stop the people who want to.

I am not wasting this life or the next.